There is a clichéd trope on parents’ forums about moms of boys being the most patriarchal of them all. They cry foul every time a poor footballer is accused of going and getting it and go to great lengths preaching decency to other people’s daughters. Their love of self has been eclipsed by their love for their offspring, so they identify with their sons – and they become the biggest meninists of them all. No surprise there.
Yes, in a traditional system even women condescend to women. They discount the opportunity of cooperation with inferiors, so they don’t cooperate with their fellow women. They challenge fellow women more than they challenge men. When seeing a male plumber, one tends to assume competence (even if we suspect he is trying to cheat us). When meeting the first female plumber even I caught myself doubting her competence. As if plumbing was rocket science only men could sufficiently grasp.
This is how you know that the entire system is definitely tilted towards men, when even women are critical to women and skeptical of their own abilities. They are marinated in the same system, conditioned by the same stereotypes, internalising the same underlying beliefs.
The source of misogyny is obvious. Women’s branding is wrong at its root. Women are called “the weaker sex”, which sounds endearing, but it is also the source of our disdain for them.
Underdogs are well-known for despising the weak. It is called victim blaming and it is the hallmark of authoritarian thinking. The literature calls it victim blaming but it is a misnomer. Despising the weak is a better description for it, because it is more universal. One doesn’t have to be a victim to be considered weak. And once we see weakness, we attack it to distance ourselves from it. The strong would do it so if I do it, I am strong.
We hate to be weak, so we kick into weakness. We also don’t trust them – not because of their morals, bit their competence. Because even if they were competent, we know that they cannot achieve what they want. They are weak. We better trust a strong one with the job.
The underdog, or authoritarian mindset is a complex set of beliefs, which deserves a longer post. But one core symptom is that the underdog is primed to pile insult and hardship on the weak and lick the ass of the strong. Regardless of its own sex.
This is why “the weaker sex” is a curse. It is bad rep – camouflaged as “neutral”.
The fact that there are women who hate women (or agree with the subjugation of women) is thus nothing to be surprised of. It is the system that conditioned both men and women to think that way. So when you try to fight it, fight the system, not the opposite sex.
To anti-feminist ladies (and the sly men who groom them)
Yep, you get a lot of approval for it. And you were primed to ache for approval, I get it.
And you do get their attention and momentarily gratitude when you deliver them comfort, confidence and offspring. They will show you up as a role model for other women. But make no mistake, they will chase the likes of me and fall in love with the likes of me once they have secured you. Because you accepted not to be a person – but a well-executed life role.
When you parade around like an anti-feminist, who is (this is important only for you) female, you are
- Accepting the identity politics creating tribes based on genital shapes, and
- You position yourself on the side of the “enemy” – i.e. the genital type you do not possess.
Congratulations. You have made every possible mistake.
You accept that there is a war and you collaborate with the enemy. You assist to the division and conquering of humanity and you are proud of it. Feminists may be incompetent defenders of women, but you are not even one of them. In the war you play out, you are a collaborator.
But there is no war. There shouldn’t be. And you are being used. And held hostage by your life choices.
I have no idea what “feminism” means – and neither do you.
You know how I know that you have no idea? Because you claim to know what it means. But there is no meaning – or there are a million definitions (which is as good as none). Everyone thinks of something else when they utter the word “feminism”. And it means something else in the first world and the other 98% of the planet. Among healthy adults and among juvenile fundamentalists.
I don’t subscribe to your gender-based world view.
Repeat after me:
- There is no war.
- You are on your own side. As an individual. You can pretend otherwise, but don’t try to take the moral high ground for it.
I do think that people should be equal, and choose their occupation and life path regardless of their shape of genitals. By all means, go and get pregnant. Stay at home and do unpaid work only. Get paid in food and shelter and the dubious honour to serve the moods and needs of one particular member of the male race. No one will ever stop you from doing it. In fact, you will get all the validation for it. (Just not from me.)
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