It’s just that you cannot love an entire gender – unless you reduce them to a role they play in your life. And that is demeaning.
Misnomers don’t help thinking. When in the rush of a debate, the mind takes a quick look at the name and tries to ascertain what the thing might be. When you accuse someone of misogyny, you may be perfectly right – and he may still deny it. He doesn’t hate women, you see.
It is not exactly hatred. Disregard, perhaps. Failure to recognise as a human being. Stuck in his own head and only appreciate women for their utility. And get inexplicably upset when they refuse to be all those things he enjoys.
Misogynistic men don’t hate women, that’s the wrong word. They use them. And given their poor definition of the word “love”, they would even claim that they love women. This is why they deny your accusations.
How could they not love them? They want to fuck them. Women cook their food and make their lives comfortable, like their mothers. They deliver and spend their lives bringing up the children these men want so much. Women are comfy and pleasurable. They would be genuinely sad without these things. For all they know this is love.
They want one for home – you don’t keep a cat when you don’t like cats, right? Right? In fact, they would keep more than one if they were allowed to. They want access to their bodies. A lot. How is that hatred? They love women the same way they love their right hands (gives them pleasure), their Cézanne (aesthetic pleasure too), their car (they spend on it, hello!) and the food on the table (it is nourishing and necessary).
They want to cushion their lives with female bodies. Soft breasts and warm pussies. Wombs to carry their second coming. Mouths only when they sing praise or swallow semen. Gratefully.
Women deliver a lot of unconditional service and emotional satisfaction. So called “misogynistic men” totally “love” women – as long as these conditions are met. A misogynistic man only flips out when he doesn’t get it from the female specimen of his choice – or when female specimens don’t deliver this to their own men.
When love is conditional – and for a function, not a person
They “love” their mothers too. For the comfort and the food – not her person. Not many people love their mothers as a person. When you scratch at the surface of what they call love, it will come down to the comfort of unconditional (and often un-reciprocated) support and the reliable supply of comfort. They feel cheated when their mother gets a life and spend years in therapy if mother dares not to supply every meal on time. How is that love for a person?
In fact, their list of desirable character traits in a female partner gives these men away.
She is humble and silent, she is not demanding, she boosts his confidence. She is low-maintenance and loves children – so that he doesn’t have to. She is nurturing, like mommy, and enjoys giving. Excels at altruism and never asks – only when she asks for his children. But that’s like asking for him, so it’s acceptable. She is not just submissive – she enjoys submission. She wants to look good. She wants to be best at providing.
But that’s not a personality though. That’s just a lot of words to describe the desire to please. These traits serve him – they don’t tell anything about her.
Such a man loves women like objects that serve his comfort and career better than a machine would. Talking, opinion, or character are from this viewpoint a necessary evil. She needs to be able to talk to provide the service.
(One would say that they “objectify women”, and it would be true. But truth be told, they also objectify themselves and other men. So do women, who dissolve themselves in traditional roles. People who give up being a person and reduce themselves to life roles regard other people as life roles too, that’s the real problem.)
The fact that you endure her opinion and her bitchy personality is not proof that you love women – it’s proof that you wish she wouldn’t have any. The fact that you can’t avoid having your women talk, doesn’t mean you take it seriously. I have heard so many obsess about the awful personality of their girlfriends – but wouldn’t leave them because they fit the bill and they had long legs. But when you want legs and boobs and ignore the personality – you are asking for it. Just like the woman who wants the house and the yacht. You deserve one another.
The thing is, people have no idea what love is because they are so busy going through the checklist of Desirable Partner. But when you do that, you are not interested in who they are. You just want to know whether they fit the bill. You don’t love them. You just use them.
Mutual exploitation with an imbalance of threats
But it is not men, who use women, but traditional societies. And those traditional societies use men as well as women. (And yes, I spend a lot of time talking about them because they are the present reality for 98% of this planet’s inhabitants.)
In the traditional setup men are used for bringing home money and fending off other aggressive men. And aggressive they are because they are used to unconditional, birth right submission at home – they are thus less willing to behave elsewhere.
But women in this old system invariably end up on the wrong end of the dick. They depend for their livelihood. Their men depend for just comfort and pleasure.
So the tools of blackmail are unevenly distributed. Where women have no income, where they are unemployable household serfs, their livelihood depends on the man only. Especially with children. In this beautiful, traditional family nightmare, women can only blackmail with the withdrawal of the comfort they create – but cautiously, so they don’t get beaten. Their aggression is passive. You don’t like passive aggression? You should perhaps say goodbye to these old norms.
Submission also breeds contempt for the weak. And since they are dehumanised objects, loved for the function they serve, their dependence will also breed aggression.
Aggression is coded in this mutual exploitation.
Who really hates women, in the traditional sense of the word
If anyone genuinely hates women, it’s:
- A negligible minority of red pill warriors, who accelerated downhill and went past the point of no return.
The negligible minority of frustrated men, who take the teachings of their pick-up masters seriously, and actually believe that women are the source of their problems.
2. Misogynistic women.
Remember, when a society is patriarchal, so are its women. And they are the ones, who truly hate.
Women can’t use other women the same way men do – but they don’t want them to go unused either. Those, who accept their own diminished role have an incentive to enforce it on other women – and make it look like it’s unavoidable.
I have always marveled how some people just don’t seem happy with their perfect life choices – they feel compelled to make others happy too. The same way men demand draft if they had the misfortune of being drafted when they were young (that made me a man), women, who made the unavoidable life choice of making themselves dependent want other women do the same too.
And unlike men, who just use women but don’t consciously hate them – these women are truly misogynistic.
And most importantly. You can’t love or hate and entire gender. Only a person.
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Photo: Mikko Lagerstedt